To San Fran that is.

Jake’s down to his final 5 women: Tenley, Corrie, Gia, Ali and of course, Vienna.

Tenley & Ali  appear to be BFF’s, but will that last when the pressure increases?

Date nights: There are 3 one-on-one dates, and 1 one-on-one date.

One-on-one date: Tenley & Jake: Tenley gets picked to the first one-on-one date. Tenley, and Jake, who is the male version of Tenley, obviously get along. Could this mean they love themselves? The two go crazy in San Fran’s China Town, and run around giggling with each other, all the while Tenley talks in her bubbly, little baby voice to Jake.  Does Jake like this? Oh yeah. He admits to us that he’s falling for her, but wants to get to know her more.  IE. Could this be the typical bachelor lingo meaning he wants her to get in the hot tub, with as little as clothing as possible?

Jake tells us that out of all the women, he can see mostly Tenley as his wife. Although he says this, he also is fixated on her past divorce, and wants to know everything about it.

Jake’s satisfied with her answers. And Tenley’s satisfied with Jake’s answers to what he looks for in his wife. Ending his speech, Jake says his wife will be the last woman he looks at…oh come bitter people! That’s precious!

Back at the ranch:  the 2-on-1 date is Ali and Vienna?? Ali says she’s gonna vom. Corrie, who’s reading the names for the date, says she’s joking.  This joke of course sparks everyone’s, or really mostly Ali’s frustration towards V. Vienna and Ali have yet another face off, which, of course, is started again by our dramatic diva, Ali.  Their face off, yet again, solves nadda.

Two-on-one date: All the girls scream, of course, when they open the door to find a massive chest full of clothes. Sigh…any girly girl’s dreams. The date consists of a third wheel date with Jake, Gia and Vienna. The two ladies head to find Jake in Nappa Valley, at a Castle Winery. Yes, there’s an actual castle. And yes, there’s an endless supply of wine inside. Enough to get you on the show just to get these freebies!

The awkward trio break the ice with some wine, of course. They need wine especially since they’re all sleeping over together in a huge castle. Gia feels awkward as V pushes Gia out of Jake’s sight. V does a great job acting as if it’s just the two of them, even crying when talks about Ali’s hatred towards her. Gia, again awkwardly, twirls her hair.

Jake pulls Gia away from Vienna’s clamp on him, where they go off to have some alone time in a cozy wine cellar. Gia, in her cute accent, talks about how they’re falling for each other. Jake says he’s also falling for her. Which provokes Gia to ask, Is it OK to fall?

Vienna, the inpatient one, decides to go through the entire castle to stalk Jake and Gia down, who are madly making out. My god, this girl may just be crazy! She tells us she doesn’t want Jake her boyfriend, to be kissing anyone else, maybe our possessive girl hasn’t seen the Bachelor before?? V calls out honey as she walks through dark hallways in the castle.

Jake and Vienna have alone time, mostly due to her tight grasp on him. Jake tries to pull away emotionally, while V mopes on Jake, and cries about how much she’s into him.  Jake looks like he wants to get back to Gia.

Vienna’s midnight stroll: Vienna, who needs to see her boyfriend, goes off to find Jake in his bed, the perfect location, according to V. Jake tells us that he thought she was sexy, and admits he has sexy, dirty thoughts about doing some things with V, but sent her back to her room.  Can anyone else feel how icy cold this relationship is getting? Please, producers, tell me that you have a psychiatrist if V is kicked off.

Corrie: Jake tells us that although he likes this stylish chick, he feels that their relationship’s progressed slowly. The two have their date in the park, and go for a little ride in a row boat, and have a good conversation, until…the awkwardness sets in. Corrie tells us, she gives about 10%, and thinks Jake should give 90%; whereas Jake thinks she should give 20%, and he’ll give 80%.  Not on the same page, are we?

Talking time: The two go for an after-hours tour of an aquarium. Their table is set up right beside a huge tank, which would be a great date in my books! The two finally open up to each other, and talk about how the day was awkward. Corrie, who may have surprised us all, tells Jake that she not only won’t live with Jake, if they’re engaged and not married, but that she’s saving herself for marriage. And how does Jake take this? He loves it, and loves it so much that they start making out from then on.

Ali & Jake’s one-on-one: Jake comes to fetch Ali, for the last date, before the rose ceremony. When Jake knocks on the hotel door, Vienna, of course, runs to get the door, to see Jake first.  Jake blows Ali away with a bouquet of flowers he gets for her.

The two kiss as they enjoy their time in the cafe. But be warned viewers! Jake tells us he has some questions for our Ali Cat.

Talking time: Ali and Jake get cozy with each other, as they make out on the grass. Ali massages Jake all over under the setting sun…come on, that’s so romantic. After all that fun, the two pop some champagne, and Jake asks some questions about Ali’s temper tantrum after the last rose ceremony.  Jake makes her ask him about her anger towards Vienna.  Ali says she’s ready to give up her Vienna-anger. Are we sure about this Ali? You are prone to spoiled brat outbursts.

Jake rewards Ali’s honesty with a spontaneous run into the ocean. The two look in love as they get jump in and out of waves. Did anybody else wonder how long Ali’s suede boots were going to take to dry? She could have at least taken them off!

Before the Rose Ceremony: Jake has to send one chicky home, before the next episode, where Jake goes off to meet the parents. Jake takes away each girl for a chat before the ceremony.

Tenley & Jake:  Tenley confesses, in her baby, bubbly voice,  to Jake how she hates sharing him. The two giggle and dance with each other in one of the hotel’s rooms.

Corrie & Jake: Corrie, who has obviously surprised guys in the past about her virginity, tells Jake in a rush not to judge her. Jake obviously loves this fact about her, and makes out with her a little bit more for some reassurance.

Gia & Jake: Jake takes the beautiful Gia away for a chat, and makes Gia gush and melt when he tells her that she’s nothing like the other 4 women. Huh? What about your female version, Tenley??

Vienna & Jake: Again, the impatient Vienna, moans that she’s the last one he’ll talk tom she acts like a little baby for awhile until Jake takes her for a walk. As a little treat, Jake takes the bubbly V to Jake’s room, and out on his balcony to view the city. Jake calms down V about her creeping into his room the other night at the Castle Winery. V goes into a giggling / happy fit when Jake kisses her. There must be others out there that are bothered by her constantly black make up, which she applies to look like it’s smudged, but really, it just looks like she’s tired, and perhaps, a woman of the streets.

Chris & Jake: Chris, (aka BG: Bachelor God) talks to Jake and goes over each woman. Jake says he likes all of them. The key factors that stick out are that Gia may be the most insecure, and Vienna may be a timebomb. BG doesn’t seem to like V too much.

The Rose Ceremony: Jakes tells the 5 remaining women his heart’s breaking right now.

1st picked: Tenley (his female version!)

2nd: Ali

3rd: Gia

4th: Vienna

Booted off: Corrie

Corrie & Jake’s farewell: Although he was turned on that Corrie was a virgin, Jake tears up as he says good bye, and admits to us that something was missing. He’s worried that she may have never fully opened up to him. Corrie, understandably, says that she’s not  as good as the other women at handling the polygamous relationship Jake’s got going on, and is gonna wait for the right guy to come along, and just  date her.

What’s to come, other than drama, on the next episode: 

Jake appears to have some interesting situations with all the four girl’s parents. Should we focus in on Vienna’s rich daddy, who says he expects V to be treated like a princess? Red warning flags there, get out while you can!

Of course, another huge drama bomb appears? There won’t be a rose ceremony. Say what?

Until next week, enjoy the blog!

Chris informs us, with dramatic music in the background of course, that everything’s changing now.

Not only are there more dates:

One-on-One date

Group date

Two-on-One date

But they are all hopping on board on massive RV’s for a trip along the California Coast. Does someone else sense a disaster??

Jake wants to fall in love, and he sets up an area to do so: in the middle of a vineyard, with his tent ready for action.

The ladies come to his love-shack, and meet Jake. He goes away on his motorcycle to get all pretty for his one-on-one with Gia.

The girls cozy up in their lawn chairs to do nothing except talk about Gia’s date. They watch as the city girl tries to get on Jake’s motorcycle.  Vienna convinces herself that their date will be horrible, and how Gia is not for Jake!

Jake and Gia’s date:

The two play old school games of hide and seek, and spin the bottle. Gia’s dream of kissing Jake comes true, as they spin the bottle, with, surprisingly, only two participants! They kiss for along time, which may make you feel awkward and frustrated, as they’re making out, and not drinking all the wine around them!

Gia is either a really big city girl that has never been to the country or is just missing a few brain cells. She is extremely impressed with Jake’s ability to make an itsy fire, by lighting paper with matches? Not too impressive. Gia’s also stunned that there are stars in the sky! Red flag there Jake!

Drunken girls and their loud noises:

The girls back at the camp are bored, probably tipsy and are spending their night staring across the field, thinking of what Jake and Gia are doing in their tent of love. They make loud noises to distract the two from talking, until they all get distracted themselves  from the mysterious date card that appears.

The next group dates are:

Ella and Kathryn and the two-on-one date. With all the rest of the catty girls on the group date. The girls are depressed with this 2 on 1 date, since that means one of the ladies are going back home.

On the road again…

Ali confesses on the RV that she is nothing like Vienna, but how interesting is it when we see how they’re showing similar traits.

Group date:

Awesome group date, and we all have to admit that it was mostly fun watching these girly girls scream every single second as they go for an amazing day of riding the sands in their dune buggies.  

They then go sand surfing, another great date idea. Good job producers!

Jake wants to go roll down the dunes. No one jumps to join him, except Corrie, who’s been pretty shy, until now..Corrie and Jake roll all over each other in the sand, (not so romantic, thinking of all the inconvenient crevices places where the sand collects).

Ali, who is acting more like a spoiled, rich girl now than before claims that she’ll be Jake’s passenger driver.

One-on-one dates in Themed rooms:

Umm can we say awkward? Ashley and Jake go into the Romance room to get nice and cozy, and let’s just say, that room should have been called the lce Cold room.  No connection there.

Ali and Jake go off to talk, but instead Ali demands to know what Jake’s going to do with the Safe Rose. He shurgs, and the two stare at the ceiling, while they continously sigh.

Tenley, the female version of Jake, and Jake cuddle up in their cozy room and have a heart to heart about Tenley’s past and how they are so hot for each other. Chemistry here folks!

Vienna and Jake. Vienna tells Jake that she wants to be the last person he talks to. This makes Ali hate V even more.  There doesn’t seem to be as much chemistry here as before. Jake tells us that he’s seen a few red flags about V from warnings from the other girls.

The safe rose is handed to Tenley, who does a sappy puppy face, that must make Jake like her even more, but makes the girls gag.

Two-on-One date:

Ella, Kathryn and Jake have a nice, awkward date.  Ella describes in detail all her ideas of a perfect relationship. Kathryn tries to butt in, saying her thoughts, but Ella and her twangy accent talk over Kathryn’s timid voice.

Jake and Ella have a deep chat out on the porch, where she tells him the ball is in his court, and that she’s ready to be with him.

Kathryn and Jake:

Jake takes Kathryn away from the depressing dinner table, and compliments her to the stars. Kathryn, instead, bluntly asks Jake why he’s been ignoring her. Umm…maybe it’s because of your voice??

The two agree that there is an attraction between each other, and that they’ve come along, but very slowly.

Who will be sent home of the two? Jake has a deep breather, and comes back to take Ella away for a private chat. He starts off with many compliments to Ella, which usually means he’s goin’ off your head!  He lets Ella go, and comes back in to talk with Kathryn.

Kathryn looks relieved, but only momentarily. Jake not only breaks one heart, but two! Jake nearly breaks down, as he tells Kathryn he’s not the man for her either.

In the end, both women are annoyed and are baffled that Jake sent them home, and that Jake’s made a huge mistake.

Heartbreak hotel:

The girls back at the camp are confused when they see that both Ella and Kathryn’s luggage are taken away.  Tenley, of course, starts breaking down.

Light ‘er up:

Jake, dramtically, throws the rose into the fire.  Thanks buddy, for wasting a perfectly good rose! C’mon, i’m sure you could have put it in your man-cabin to make it smell somewhat nice.

The chase is on…before the rose ceremony:

Corrie and Jake: Corrie demands that Jake feels nervous and excited around her.  Jake admits that he likes her, but demands, in return, that she opens up. Wife material? He doesn’t seem so sure.

Ali and Jake: Ali, the one with all the right words, tells Jake that he’s so honourable, and blah blah. Jake loves this and goes in for many, many kisses.

Jessie and Jake: Jessie, the girl from Oakville (what, what!!), finally has alone time with Jake, and instead of getting to know him, tells him about how Vienna is crazy and is from a rich family.

Jake and Vienna: Vienna, who is playing the Diva in Distress, looks like she’s getting on Jake’s nerves. Vienna tries to tell Jake not to judge her with a new look, with all the advice he’s getting from the girls.

The Rose Ceremony:

Tenley and Gia are both safe with their roses, which leaves these women to get a rose:

Ali (Cruel De Vil gets the first rose)

Corrie

And…no one??

Jake and The BG:

Jake, who is nearly crying…again…leaves the room for a breather. The Bachelor goes Blair Witch Project with all the camera crew following him run away to Chris…the (BG) Bachelor God.

He asks the BG if he has to give away two more roses.  Just talk to The BG, and things will happen.

Jake and Chris go back to the confused ladies. Chris tells them that he will be taking away one rose, and that two of the three women will be going home.

Final rose: Vienna ….who must be thinking, In your FACE, Ali.

The booted women: Ashleigh and Jessie (farewell Oakville)

Five women and counting. What to expect on the next episode:

 Jake tells the five remaining ladies that they’ll be going to San Fran.

Jake tells Gia he’s falling for her

Ali keeps hating Vienna, of course

And Vienna tries to snuggle her way into Jake’s heart, or should we say, Jake’s bed.

The episode starts off right away with Chris telling the women that the next solo date with Jake is Vienna.

Vienna!? As soon as she leaves for the date, the women go nuts. They think if he likes her, then they’re out. Is she that crazy, or are they just all nutty?

Jake surprises Vienna with a date that petrifies both of them: bungy jumping. They both admit they both have a fear of heights. Kind of bizarre Jake’s a pilot if he has a phobia of heights. If I were on the date, i’d already have puked a couple times when looking down from the bridge you’re going to jump off of.

Jake the Drama Queen?

Oddly enough, Jake picks something to do on their date that makes him go weak and nearly puke. Vienna calms him down, after he repeats over and over that he can’t do it. In the end…they jump off, hugging each other upside down. Jake does the Spider Man move, and kisses Vienna, upside down. Not terribly romantic and comfortable if you ask me.

Jake and Vienna’s romantic night:

Jake gets emotional and tells V that he loved having her there to comfort him while they were about to jump off the bridge. They get cuddly, and Jake dives in for a kiss.

Jake tells us that he’s continually surprised by V.

The date keeps going on and on. And where’s the damn rose?! The two go into the amazing hot tub outside. Jake goes away, and returns with the rose…finally! He’s happy to see her mature, honest side.

Vienna…is openly escatic and says she’s on Cloud Jake. The two share passionate kisses in the pool, which is better than the hot tub…gotta cool  Jake off! wink wink.

V at home, surrounded by the cattiness:

The girls at home show their claws when they ask how Vienna how her date was. She goes into great details, which only further angers the women. Ali feels completely betrayed by Jake, which is pretty messed up, since this is what the show is all about. 

Group Date:  Corey, Elizabeth, Tenley, Ashleigh, Kathryn, Ali, Jessie and crazy Michelle

The group date go with Jake to a comedy house, where they’re helped out with their comedy material with  .

Asheligh breaks down from the pressure. Jake sees this and comforts her, as well as sliding her a few lines that he thinks will help her out.

He suddenly tells them that there’s a live audience to watch them, the girls crumble. This obviously sets Ashleigh off even more. 

Elizabeth: She shocks Jake with her raunchy stories of getting wild in bed with guys. Jake is boggled!

Kathryn: Her comedic act is not really funny, in the end, she asks  Jake to come kiss her. He does, and this completely pisses of Michelle!

Michelle: All we can say is HUH?! Thank god it’s not just us who thinks she’s nuts, but the entire audience thinks she’s bonkers!

Corey: She does an impression of all the girls, luckily she makes the girls laughing and the whole audience. She disses Vienna, all the girls love this. Jake’s laughter stops there.

Asheligh: She pulls out the blonde jokes, and makes the audience laugh.  She seems a little tipsy, but after her near nervous breakdown, I wouldn’t blame her for shooting a few drinks down the hachet!

The Group Date’s roof top party:

The girls go up to the club’s roof to chug some drinks back. Each girl resumes to the chasing Jake act.

Tenley: T finally tells Jake about her past, and her ex who cheated on her and left. She breaks down, and tells Jake that she has a chip on her shoulder from that mess. Jake likes that she opened up, and treats her with one passionate kiss.

Ashleigh: Asheigh takes Jake away, and tells him that she’s appalled that he likes Vienna, as are the other girls are. It becomes a big tattle-tale fest from Ashleigh’s side.  Jake looks pissed and confused.

Ali: Jake reassures Ali that their date was one of their best dates he’s had.  She’s on cloud nine. Until…she brings up Vienna. Jake backs up Vienna, but Ali tells him that V is different with the girls than around him.

Toast against Vienna: The girls are on the roof having a toast for Corey. Ali prompts the other girls to agree that Corey did Jake justice, by showing him how messed Vienna is. All agree, except Michelle, who stares at them with her possessed expressions. 

The girls vs. Michelle: Ali tells Michelle, aka possessed woman in denial, that she needs to open up. Michelle goes nuts and attacks Ali verbally and then stalks away.

Michelle and Jake: Michelle tells Jake she’s not dramatic — say what!? She takes Jake aside, and asks if she can kiss him.  Super awkward! Jake looks extremely awkward, and looks pissed off. He takes a deep breath in, which always means that he has something horrible to tell you. Instead…Michelle throws a bomb, and tells him that she can’t stay. Is this just another dramatic move on her part? Instead Jake takes a deep breath in, and agrees that she should leave. She gets so pissed off, but wtf?  She was literally telling him that she wants to leave! Therefore, we know she is messed up! 

Jake tells the women that he’s not feeling good tonight, and that he’s not going to give a Safe Rose tonight.

Meanwhile at home: All the girls gang up on V, telling her they’re pissed off that she’s confident and that none of the girls like her. Gia tells V that she’s the only person backing her up. Vienna runs upstairs and writes Jake a tear-stained letter.  How depressing!

Ella’s one-on-one date: Jake comes by to swoop Ella up for their date.  Jake, of course, takes Ella up in a helicopter. God, enough with the helicopters! The two fly on over to Sea World. Jake wants to surprise Ella because she misses her son.

Sure enough, her son Ethan, runs up to her. Jake knows how to get to a woman’s heart, or at least a mother’s heart! The lucky bunch get to go into the dolphin aquarium to swim and feed the dolphins. They also get to go and feed the penguins.  Why not just join the show to do all these great things?!

The trio have a nice picnic that he, or really the producers, arranged. Jake gives Ethan a toy plane he made for him. They talk about their love of having a family, and how Ella wants to create a family for her and her son. Ella, obviously, is extremely turned on by how Jake spends time and plays with Ethan.

Jake gives Ella the Safe Rose, and they share one passionate kiss.

The party before the Rose Ceremony:

Elizabeth: flirts with Jake. He feels like he’s getting mixes signals from her. Jake is confused that she doesn’t want him to kiss her, but then says she does want him to kiss her. Elizabeth gets extremely annoyed when Jake says he thinks she’s a tease.

Vienna: admits to Jake that she’s had a hard week, with all the girls bombarding V with their jealousy. Jake kisses her a few times. 

Back in the room: The girls are pissed that Vienna took time away from their one-on-one time with Jake. Elizabeth storms off to cry her head off inthe bathroom. Ali, once again, confronts Vienna and creates some more drama.

Elizabeth and Jake: part 2: Elizabeth dries her eyes and takes Jake away.  Elizabeth tells Jake that she wants him to keep her around. Jake looks purely exhausted.

The Rose Ceremony:

Jake admits, before the ceremony, that he has no idea who he’s going to send home.

Vienna and Ella are safe with their roses they got previously.

He tells the women that TWO women are going to be sent home. And that he knows his future wife is herem, in the room, duh duh duh!

Jake’s women:

Gia

Corey

Tenley (possibly his future wife?)

Ali

Jessie (Raise the roof to the Oakville, Ontario girl!)

Kathryn

Last rose goes to: Ashleigh

The women booted are:

Surprise, surprise Elizabeth, guys don’t like teases!

Elizabeth breaks down outside, when away from Jake. She’s surprised her good looks didn’t get her to the end.

Valishia: a  homemaker, umm what?? Doesn’t that mean you’re a house wife??

Coming up…

All are still against Vienna!

Ali loves to create drama…

and Jake throws a rose in the fire.

We just can’t wait for the drama!

Vienna and the girls: Part 2: Vienna apologizes to all the girls for being upfront and fake. Everyone seems okay with it…except Ali. Seems like Ali likes the drama!

Jake and several girls go with Jake for a surprise : an In Style photo shoot. Any girly girl’s dreams!

Rozlyn does well on the shoot, obviously, since she’s professional model, and boy, does she come with the model attitude. Rozlyn disses Gia, the other model, saying her lingerie – or bikini modeling is crap. Tsk Tsk Rozlyn, she should know that Jake will see through her facade as a sweet kitten, instead we’re sure he’ll find out her claws are out, and they’re sharp and ready!

The women love the shoot – except Christina, who freaks out, until Jake swoops in and sweeps her off her feet, literally. He dips her back when pretending to dance with her on the photo shoot set. And she laughs hysterically.

Jake is having a heart to heart with Gia, when Ashleigh comes out, full of her new found confidence since the shoot, and struts her stuff in a itsy bitsy bikini. Rozlyn’s ears perk up and looks around, ready to claw competition down. Jake makes Asheligh go ga-ga when he comes out with his bathing suit, strutting his 10 pack – that is, until, all the girls come out in their tiny bikinis. Rozlyn, of course, smothers herself onto Jake, which makes Christina feel not nearly as confident and sexy.

Christina and Rozlyn: Round 1

Christina then takes a dripping wet Jake away to have a one-on-one conversation. The conversation dwindles instantly, as Jake tries to have a mature conversation and Christina’s alcohol-filled body and brain can’t handle the conversation. It may be because she says like 8 times in one sentence!

Rozlyn uses her massive breasts and sex appeal to get close to Jake, but when they talk, Jake pulls away. Until, Rozlyn goes in for the kill and pulls his face for a sexy kiss. She’s very proud of herself, and Jake gets really flabbergasted and runs away. He later comes back and gives her the ‘special’ rose. The girls instantly know who is the competition. And Rozlyn tells us that she has Jake where she wants him. Could she be a younger version of Cruella De Vil?

One-on-one date:

Ali gets the diamond necklace, and looks super cute in her mini bright yellow dress. Not really suited for a motorcycle ride, but she does it in style.

Jake takes the classy looking Ali, who is steadily freaking out, for a flight, on a small plane, with Jake as the pilot. I can understand her fear, I would have already vomited a few times with fear. Instead Ali calms down right away and enjoys the romantic time alone together.

Jake and Ali pop into a 50′s style car and head for a fast drive, until they pull of the road to a massive open space, and find a tiny table for two for a romantic evening, and serious talk.  The two have  a really good bond starting and flirt effortlessly.

Any more surprises?? Jake is full of them. And he has good taste. He, or really the show, had the band Chicago be their private band for the night. They dance under the night sky, with the band playing for them, and Jake says that he’s never felt this kind of moment before. I’m sure Chicago felt awkward watching the two make out on the field.

Jake is truly smitten and gives Ali the ‘safe’ rose.

Women for next group date:

Elizabeth, Jessie, Catherine, Ashley and Vienna have a group date with Jake at an amusement park, which is closed down all for themselves. Ashley, is super cute and states that Jake is her man, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Elizabeth, the nanny, takes Jake away for some alone time and giggles a lot while melting into his arms. Elizabeth takes a written note out of her pocket, basically saying that she wants him as her husband, nearly taking only one breath during the entire time, but also says she wants to wait to be kissed.

Meanwhile at home:

Michelle has decided it’s enough. She decides it’s time to leave, in a hissy fit.

Michelle of course, goes off onto a rampage with her stalker glare fully intact. 

Confessions:

The girls chat after their run around the amusement park. They have some confessions with Jake, especially Vienna, who pours her heart out to Jake about her 2 engagements, under the age of 20!

Safe rose:

Jake gives Elizabeth the safe rose, and the girls get catty. Jake and Elizabeth stay at the park, while the others are sent home. The two have more alone time and stare at each other on the bench, and while Jake tries to not kiss Elizabeth, who admits,  is playing so hard to get.

Cocktail Party:

Michelle, who decided not to go through with her hissy fit and leave, spills  to the other women that she needs to have a date with him. She needs it!!

 She finally gets some alone time with Jake, and spills everything off her chest. Jake reassures her, and of course, she breaks down. Of course.

She tells us that Jake will see they are here for the same reason, and that he will love it. Jake…make sure your body guards are ready, and with tasers!

 Jake takes Ella away, to surprise her with a little cupcake for her birthday. The two talk about her son, whom she says she misses.

Tenley takes Jake away to let him get to know her. He tries to ask her about past relationships, but she then quickly looses the chance to talk about her ex, whom she’s now divorced from.

Chris and Rozlyn: The cat’s outta the bag

The girls, who aren’t stalking Jake, are sitting and talking until Chris comes in.  That’s when interesting stuff begins.

Chris takes Rozlyn aside, in front of all the other women, before the rose ceremony.  Chris looks extremely awkward, and gulps a few times before he confronts Rozlyn. Chris tells Rozlyn that he knows she’s had a relationship with one of the staffers! She responds saying that her personal life is no one’s business…this girl just kills me with her dazed looks and innocent voice.

He tells her that she has to leave tonight. Rozlyn doesn’t admit to it, but tries to tell Chris, over and over, that it’s not her fault. I guess Rozlyn could be telling the truth, I mean her lips must have  just happened to touch one of the staffer’s lips.

Chris takes Jake aside to tell him the news. Jake is not happy. He asks to get the tainted rose back, and to be in the room while Chris tells the women the news. Meanwhile, Rozlyn is booted! Isn’t it nice to know that bitchy women who try to get what they want with their bodies and not their mind, don’t win.

Weeping confession:

Jake very emotionally tells the women that Rozlyn lied to him, by saying that she was here for the right reasons, but obviously just wanted a good chase and some action. Jake leaves to regain himself.

Meanwhile, all the girls are flying off the wall by this craziness.

Tenley of course is crying.  Gia, with her lips full of silicon tells the girls she’s just as upset. Will Jake be as upset when he slips off her silicon-filled lips?

Rose Ceremony:

Ali and Elizabeth are safe with their roses.

Jake tells the women that his soul mate is in front of him. Michelle gets really giddy. She knows it’s her.

The women chosen are:

Vienna

Gia

Tenley

Ella

Elisha

Cory

Jessie

Ashley H

Michelle (who basically drops dead with happiness)

Last Rose: Catherine

What to expect: Vienna gets attacked by the girls. Vienna and Gia get at it.

Jake encourages one contestant to leave…which one will it be?

Until next week!

His body is ready to shine too.  Jake is back, with excellent muscles and an optimistic outlook on everything. He better have that outlook with all the gorgeous and many catty, bitchy girls on this show.

All the women, who are mostly under 25 by the way, scream and giggle on their way to see their man. Friends for now, but just wait ladies, your claws will come out shortly.

We see many beautiful women, and of course some scary ones, such as Ella, who is only 29, but looks and acts much older. She tells Jake he has something on his tie, when they first meet; when Jake looks down, she catches him off guard when she brushes his nose with his finger.

Corey catches Jake totally off guard, when she asks Jake what he thinks of Kissingme…um say what?? She then gives Jake a chance to breathe when she says she meant Kissimmee, Florida. Whew. Could have been another psycho.

Elizabeth, the nanny, showed off to Jake with her amazing passes in their duo football game. This started an entire classy football game, with all the girls running wildly in their dresses, and screaming for some reason we’re not sure of.

The ladies instantly get angry at one another when Jake has one on one time with women who come and snag him away from the other hopeful contestants. Tenley, one contestant who has been married, and divorced, is a beautiful ball of emotion. She confides in Jake all her good qualities, and say she’s a good kisser. Jake looks nervous. That is until Tenley asks if he’s okay with that.  They share a quick peck, and Tenley giggles happily.

Word spreads quickly amongst the flapping lips that Jake has kissed someone already. More emotions rise up, especially from Michelle, our  basket case office manager. You can count on one finger how many times she smiles. I’m sure you’d find mounds of deep, dark poetry in her room.

Elizabeth, the nanny, is confident she’ll get the first impression rose. However, to Elizabeth’s dismay, the rose is given to Tenley.

Ten women are to be sent home.

The women picked to stay are:

Ella

Elizabeth: the hot nanny in a hot red dress

Ali: cute, but terrified of flying

Christina

Gia: Jake loves her hair, lucky for him, she owns a hair salon

Ashleigh

Rozlyn: the model who loves herself more than anything

Jessie: from Oakville, Canada

Corey

Larisa

3 more to go

Ashley: made her mark on Jake’s heart by falling the first time they had one on one time

Catherine

Last rose goes to:

Michelle

Sent home is more importantly, our Vancouver girl, Tiana

Up and coming:

- one woman is dating another guy

- one woman has kids

- Chris says they’ve never had a woman like this on the show before…can that be true?

- and…Jake storms out of an interview, and later on, he slams a limo’s door, full or rage.

Lots of excellent, juicy drama to come!

Luke, a man of large stature, as he likes to put it, is on the show trying to find the love of his life, also of large stature. He tells us that he likes voluptuous, curvy women who aren’t obsessed with dieting and losing weight. He stresses that he does not want a woman who will constantly tell him to lose weight, and to watch what he eats… which makes me wonder if he had a girlfriend like that in the past, and that’s a subtle nod her way.

Luke, at only 26, is making 6 figures as a real estate developer, which means basically, the woman that he ends up choosing in the end can make Luke design her dream house! Lucky girl.

So now that we know who our big man is, who are his candidates? 20 women, who aren’t afraid, as clips from upcoming episodes reveal to us, to voice their opinons to each other, and break out their claws, many of which are fake. These women are ready to fight for love!

First limo:

The first limo pulls up to Luke, and Emme, the host, revealing many loud, screaming women, ready to stampede over to their man.  The first girl out of the limo is the beautiful and angelic-looking Malissa, 26. She arrives with a nice, shiny blue dress and full of confidence, something Luke likes right away. She says she’s not fat, just big-boned. I like her answer. Luke seems to be in a daze staring at her, looking like he wants to whisk her away right there!

Heather, 22, asks to kiss Luke.  Like many of the other women on the show, Heather’s never been in a relationship. When talking to the camera, she gets very emotional and teary-eyed right away when talking about her tries at  finding love.

Bonnie, is beautiful, even when slightly covered with tattoos, black nail polish and hair. Trying for a hard look are we? Although she looks edgey, Bonnie says she wouldn’t mind being a housewife, as in her head, that’s where she is right now.

Michelle, 32, is a bouncy woman full of bouncy emotions that flip flop back and forth. She admits she’s very self-concious, but doesn’t beat herself up for not being super skinny, and fitting into size 4 clothes; instead, Michelle says she buys clothes that fit her and tries to look good. Then she tears up….

Anna, 27, feels that no one’s loved her for who is she actually is. How can that be? She’s pretty cute and has a nice dress that doesn’t make her look like a balloon! Luke also seems to notice this, they flirt for a bit before she has to go into the mansion with the other women, who are all giddly and talk about how cute Luke is.

Natasha, 25, intimidates Luke, as soon as she tells him she’s a rocket scientist. Why do men get overwhelmed when women are highly intelligent? She makes a good point when she says society puts looks on a golden pedestal, while the most important things like how intelligent or how nice you are, aren’t viewed as nearly as important.

Melissa, 21, is very young and emotional. She cries right away when interviewed, or really, it could just be the power of editing, and explains how she’s never been on a date. She’s very giddy when talking to Luke.

Mandy, 25, a fitness trainer looks really good, especially in her cute short, red A-line dress. She appears pretty confident and shows Luke how to salsa dance. She tells us that it’s hard to get guys when she’s around her skinny friends, since all the guys always go for the skinny girls.

Kistian, 26, is very confident, hoorah! She says she loves her junk in her trunk and won’t change a thang. You go girl! She says she’s annoyed that guys love the skinny bitches! So true all you’re holding onto is a bag of bones! Where’s the meat??

Promise Rings:

After meeting all 20 women, Luke becomes the mingling master and wanders around chatting to all the ladies vying for his attention; and wow!, he doesn’t waste time getting into action! Luke flops, literally, back onto a couch beside Anna and Lauren. Anna tells the two of them, mostly Luke of course, that she’s the type of girl that if someone tells her not to do something, she’ll do it. This of course perks Luke’s excited ears up right away. He dares her to kiss him. She giggles, then sees that he’s serious.  They share a cute kiss, while Lauren awkwardly watches, while she’s pressed up against Luke on the couch.

Luke, all energized from that kiss, moves on over to Malissa. They have a more serious conversation and big sparks seems to be flying all around them. He suddenly talks in quite a husky, sexy voice. Malissa says she knows some Spanish; Luke asks if she knows kiss in Spanish, then asks for one. Ohh, who’s a smooth operator here?! They share a pretty sexy kiss if you ask me. He thinks so too, as he asks for a second one before macking it up some more with the other ladies.

While talking to other women, Luke’s interrupted when Danielle, 25, tries desperatly to get the man of the hour’s attention by suddenly jumping – or really, smacking – into the pool. The other girl’s claws automatically come out. Luke jokes he’s going to jump in, but doesn’t. And you say you’re all about being spontaneous! Bonnie says Danielle looks like a wet otter…pretty funny.

Luke has the chance to talk to the confident and happy Kristian, he tells her after their converstaion that he finds her to be a very genuine person. She beams at that.

Ring Ceremony:

All the women are asked to remove their “promise rings;” Luke says that he will decide on which 15 girls he’ll choose, they then can have the rings back. The women do not like taking those babies off!

1st: Anna, the one he smooched with on the couch.

2nd: Malissa (rooting for her!)

3rd: Magali, 24

The rest that are picked are:

Heather

Mandy

Amanda

Vanessa

Tali

Lauren

Bonnie

Kristina

Danielle

Arian

Kristian

and…Melissa (the 21 year old who is very emotional and needs to be picked!)

The 5 girls kicked off are all very upset at  loosing this chance at finding love, as they all find it really difficult to find love in general by being a woman of bigger stature. Good luck girls!

Coming up! :

Some helicopter rides

Of course some cattiness emerging, especially of two girls throwing roses at each other!

and…let’s not forget: LOTS of crying.

Ed and Jillian’s date:

Ed and Jillian meet up, Jillian giggles insanely; especially when she throws open door #1, to reveal her parents and immediate family to Ed. Jillian screams, while Ed is asked to tell his story to his family, he fails to mention the fantasy suite situation.

Jillian’s mom puts Ed in the flaming hot seat! Ed’s mom is incredibly serious as she blasts 66 questions down his throat.  Although Ed’s mom never bears a smile, she tells Ed that she likes his answers.

Jillian’s mom tells her daughter that she believes Ed would make it work.

Ed asks Jillian’s dad what his views are of Ed. The dad says if Ed proposes to Jill, he’s be happy and do somersaults. They both laugh; how can you not, Jillian’s dad is so cute, especially with his strong Canadian accent.

The young couple convince Jillian’s parents, and myself, that these two can actually make it work!

They all let loose, and take part in their own Hawaiian dance, or something that resembles that dance.

Jillian feels really strongly about Ed, but what happens when she meets her other man?

Kiptyn and Jillian’s date:

Jillian tells us that there’s a huge physical connection. Kiptyn tells us that it feels Jillian’s his girlfriend.

Jillian and Kiptyn act as crazy lovebirds in front of her family, and recount their first sight of one another.

The family sits down for dinner, until Jillian’s mom breaks Kip away from the family, to put him in the hot seat. Jillian’s grandma and cousin both really like Kiptyn’s lifestyle, work hard, play hard. Are they trying to point out they like him over Ed.

Jillian’s dad asks the question: Are you in love with Jillian?

Kiptyn doesn’t pull a bluff, he admits honestly that he’s getting there, and that he can see his life with her. Kiptyn looks like a veil has been lifted from his face, and seems to be more into Jillian than before.

The two walk out and of course, make out for several minutes. I’m sure the producers were happy to edit that half an hour session!

The family consultation:

The family says they like Ed, he’s more professional than Kiptyn, but may be more like Jillian, than Kiptyn is.

Meanwhile, the family gravitates more to Kiptyn, who they say, will be the ying to her yang.

The dad admits to the family that Ed told him he loves Jillian, and that he asked permission to marry her.

Jillian and her cuzzie:

Jillian admits that she and Kiptyn always want to rip each other’s clothes off, but she also likes Ed, but she brings up the unfortunate experience in the suite.

One last chance for the boys:

Ed and Jillian:

Jillian gives Ed an extra big kiss for winning over Jillian’s family. She admits to us that she’s nervous because the pair are a nervous wreck. Ed knows the pressure is on him: he’s gotta make it happen tonight!

The two go on a helicopter ride, then to a beautiful waterfall, where they of course make out more. Have to admit, their kisses do not come up to par with Jillian and Kiptyn’s fireball kisses.

They kiss over and over, while I wonder if they even notice their plates of food are going cold? It looks damn good too!

Ed cutely caresses Jillian’s face and says he’ll never leave her again.

The two strip down, and go swimming under the waterfall; and we all notice Ed’s itsy bitsy green shorts! Someone likes to show off his lean bean legs.

Fantasy suite attempt #2:

Cue the island-themed porn music. And cue the valcano eruption!  Ed and Jillian, both nervous wrecks, go to their least favourite place: the bedroom.

sidenote:

The guys all believe  Ed is a goner.

Kiptyn and Jillian:

Kiptyn admits to us that he feels so strong for Jillian, and that this show needs to end with a proposal.

Jillian confidently feels that she’s in love with him, and knows he’s in love with her. Their chemistry seems a lot more natural than her and Ed’s.  Jillian says to us that Kiptyn’s the most amazing guy she’s ever met.

The two go out on a surf board in the ocean, straddling one another: a position that will not help their situation in the least if they see a shark!

Fantasy suite attempt #2:

Kiptyn tells Jillian their relationship has been so easy, but he now finds himself so stressed out, knowing that tomorrow is the big day. He solidifies things for Jillian, and explains to her that he wants to create a relationship with her; is head over heels for her, and that he wants her to move to him (hey! what about moving to Canada?).

The two look so happy and cute together cuddling on the bed that you want to jump on the bed with them and squish both their cheeks!

The D-Day:

Jillian’s thoughts on the bachelors:

Kiptyn: Jillian loves Kiptyn’s and her relationship, and how much she trusts him.

Ed: She loves his aura and energy, and loves how he came back for her. She says she knows the passion is there.

Does she know who she wants to be with? Jillian says she finally knows!

The final rose ceremony begins:

In the Bachelor/ette history, the first one out of limo is usually the first one off the show.

Will this be true for Kiptyn?

Kiptyn and Jillian’s big moment:

The nervous couple stare at each other; Kiptyn seems very self assured that he’s safe with the rose, and is the final man. Can this be true?

Jillian doesn’t look as giddy as yesterday though…

Kiptyn tells Jillian once again that he wants to be with Jillian, and wants to have her as his wife…which makes Jillian cry. This can’t be good.

The end result: Jillian breaks down, and admits to him that she’s fallen in love with someone else.  Kiptyn looks like he’s going to break down any second, but gives Jillian a hug and kisses her shoulder, how heart-breaking is that? Kiptyn pats his chest for his ring, or is he just feeling the thumping of his broken heart?

In the limo:

Teary-eyed Kiptyn admits that he didn’t pull out the ring to give to Jillian, because he was waiting for her to say all the beautiful things he had just said to her. Kiptyn breaks down when he tells us, or really the psychologist in the limo, that he hates how he knows he won’t be going after Jillian’s dreams with her.  Are we all holding tissues at the moment?

Ed, WAIT, Jillian and Reid’s big moment! :

Reid shows up in a taxi! Anybody else wondering how much that baby cost? Chris looks very protective and acts distant when he sees him.

Reid walks up to Jillian, she looks completely taken aback. The two embrace in a silent hug; then let their foreheads once again touch each other as they begin to talk. Reid tells Jillian that he flew back because he finally realized he loves her. Way to go to Reid! Last minute attempt to seal the deal?

Reid begs Jillian to take him back, and explains that when he left, he finally realized she was the one for him. Why do men need to be pushed away so often in order to realize they love someone!?

Reid goes down on one knee;  Jillian starts to reveal a huge smile at first, and then brings Reid up to his feet.  She admits that she’s missed him so much since he’s been gone. Way to go producers, this is one great to give a girl an ulcer.

Inside Jillian’s head:

Jillian is  completely perplexed. Chris tells her that she knows deep down what to do. Meanwhile, Ed is innocently on his way to the rose ceremony, unaware of what is happening to Jillian.

Reid shines when he sees Jillian come back to him; she admits that they do have the connection she was looking for. Reid’s glowing face disappears as Jillian breaks down.  She admits that she has fallen in love with someone else, and that she has to trust her gut. What a way to put a damper on a person’s big day!

Jillian breaks down even more as the two walk Reid back to his, umm, taxi. She explains that she needed him that night to open up, as she tried over and over to do. Jillian thanks the broken-hearted Reid.

Reid inside the limo, scratch that, taxi:

Reid’s had salt poured on his wounds for the second time by Jillian, but because of his indecisiveness. Reid is flabbergasted! How could Jillian not take him back? He was so sure she would be swept off her feet.

Finally…Ed and Jillian’s big moment:

So glad that Jillian came to her sense to pick the big gentle giant!

Ed tells us that he’s been waiting for this big day ever since the first day he’s met Jillian. He’s happy to say that he feels so in love with her, even after the BIG bumps and bruises they’ve endured.

Jillian glows as she sees Ed. Ed takes a pause, a long pause, before he recites his structured speech, which you have to admit is pretty cute! Ed says that he’s in love with Jillian, but pauses, to ask Jillian if she’s in love with him. The two share, finally, a steamy kiss!

Jillian giddily accepts Ed’s ring, and jumps all over Ed, which is impressive since she’s wearing a long dress.

As they make out and giggle, us viewers are given a recount of their many experiences together, around the world, in only two months. Let’s hope Ed is smart and is willing to move to Canada!

Ed, glistening and smiling from ear to ear, accepts the final rose.

Let’s not forget tomorrow, when Ed and Jillian can finally make their first appearance together!

And what’s to come?

More to Love: airing tomorrow, with normal-sized people…or really, bigger people. Will we  be as into it as we are with this show?

On this past Monday’s episode, the kicked off bachelors came together to discuss the cattiness that was very much alive in their man-house. Everyone, except Reid, and, of course Wes, who wouldn’t show his red-neck self in front of the bachelors, nor the women-filled studio audience, who i’m sure would just love to throw some food at him, if he was there.

The Men Tell All (TMTA) episode was nothing exciting, as they usually never are, they are put there mainly to keep us itching to see the last drama-filled episode.

The main things that did happen at TMTA was that David and Juan still have it out for one another, or really, David has it our for our golden LA boy, Juan.    David, and several other catty men, agreed that Juan is purely a fake. They explained that when on the show, the cameras would show how David and Robby (who always had a drink in his hand; Jill must be happy she let that guy go) would be slamming back shots; when Juan, who would be upstairs alone for most of the day, would change shirts, race downstairs and pretend to take a shot, while really, he would only take a sip. David was enraged! How dare you be a man, and not slam back that shot completely!

Chris, however, asked David what the big deal was? The audience, which consists mostly of women, or women who dragged their men there, hollered and clapped, which only made David that much more angry at the world for not understanding him.

David also told Jake, in a malicious tone, that he acted like a little girl when he was sobbing over the balcony, when Jake flew to Jillian, to warn her of Wes. The women in the audience booed David, once again, for that remark. Sascha joins in on pouring the salt into Jake’s wounds, and comments on how Jake always told the camera, when on the show, that he was termed too perfect. Sascha says he thinks Jake thinks he is too perfect.

Perfect Jake looks mighty pissed off. He turns around and tells Sascha, F-off! and asks, is that perfect? He looks mighty pleased with his comment, as does the entire audience who cheers for him.

Could our perfect Jake be on the next Bachelor? The audience seems to think so, or at least is hoping they’ll see him on the next series find someone who does want such a perfect man.

Reid:

And then there’s Reid. We soon realize, from clips to come on the next episode, that Reid saunters back into Jillian’s life, and what perfect timing, he comes to her at the final rose ceremony, where Jillian decides to pick between Ed, Kiptyn…and now Reid?

There is a quick clip of Reid holding a wedding band in his hand; but will Jillian believe Reid is past his indecsiveness? And will she let go of Ed, who seems to be perfect for her?

There are rumours, as Suzanne from CityTV points out, that Ed may have a girlfriend back in the windy city. Could our cool, and calm boy really be playing Jillian? Maybe that’s why Ed’s dad was crying when he met Jillian!

http://blogs.citytv.com/bachelorette/

My guess is that she will let Kiptyn go; and be torn between Reid, who she gets along with so well, and Ed, who she has a steamy connection with. In the end, I think she’ll pick Ed, fingers crossed!

The episode moves swiftly into full gear, and starts off with each of the  bachelor’s date with Jillian.

Kiptyn and Jillian’s date:

Kiptyn and Jillian laugh uncontrollably as the two watch each other walk on a thin line…literally. They go to an adventure camp in Hawaii, where they have to climb to the top of a totem pole, although attached to a line, it looks incredibly high…not a good place for people with fear of heights! Kiptyn coaches Jillian along to reach the top of the pole, which she does, after much moaning and groaning.  Kip cutely says that they have to take a leap of faith for each other; this is meant in two ways. Firstly for the obvious: they’re on this crazy reality show; secondly, they actually do have to leap off the totem pole, so giddy-up!  The two lovebirds jump off the huge totem pole at the same time, trying to catch a trapeze bar, slightly above them.  Kiptyn is able to catch the bar, while Jillian screams and dangles in the air. Jillian giggles all the time, and the two continue to be mushy after that adrenaline rush.

Jillian feels really strongly about Kiptyn today, she likes how he’s shown her his more emotional side, and how he’s not perfect.  But, there may be something missing between these two. She has some hesitations when it comes to Kip, it could possibly be that she’s intimidated by him, as she always talks about how she’s impressed by how much he volunteers, the goals in his life, his expectations for himself and others; or could it really just come down to his interesting mother?

Dinner date:

Jillian tells Kiptyn that it surprised her today how much she relied on Kiptyn when trying to get up the totem pole, since she’s so independent. She seems very enamoured with him, but says she questions only one aspect of Kiptyn, and that would be what exactly? Flaws…does he have any? He admits that he has to work on his patience, and that in relationships, he at times has one foot in and out of the door. Red sirens seem to go off in Jillian’s head. She says she trusts him the most out of all the 3 guys, but it’s very apparent that this new information she gets annoys her.

Fantasy suite:

Jillian tells Kip that she adores him and is always in awe of him. He learnt from the first fantasy suite invitation, that he’ll let J decide. She goes on and on about how much she’s into him; we can tell Kip just wants to know: yes or no? The two decide to go for it. Jillian tells the camera she knows she’s falling in love with him.

The two proceed with their favourite past time: making out on the bed.  They intertwine and canoodle, steaming up the room.

Reid and Jillian’s date:

Reid likes to make out with Jillian as much as Jillian just likes to make out in general.

Jillian really likes Reid, her only issues that remains with him is that she wants him to communicate more; isn’t this the most common complaint women have about their men?

They make out and snuggle under a palm tree, until a helicopter comes and swoops them up; they continue to make out in the helicopter, even as they fly over breath taking sceneries below! They finally take a breather to come up for air, and just in time, as Jillian’s ears perk up while the pilot tells the couple that he’s an ordained minister, and that people have gotten married in the helicopter before.  Reid looks like he wants to smack the pilot. Jillion looks even more giddy, and asks Reid what they’re waiting for. They both laugh, but i’m sure Reid’s heart was beating faster than ever before!

Dinner date:

Jillian has one goal tonight, and it’s not about making out! Amazing. Instead, Jillian wants to get answers, and pronto from Reid. She tells us that out of all the guys, Reid is the one she can relate to the most; she likes how they are constantly giggling and joking around. It’s always a good decision to discuss big, fat matters before you get engaged, especially if on camera! The two talk about where they want to live, Jillian really wants little R to go West, I  mean, West is Best, right? She tries to push Reid over and over into a corner to answer her many questions. Reid gets nervous, and tries to distract Jillian with cute, distracting kisses; he then quickly changes the topic. Jillian looks defeated, but somehow not as annoyed at Reid as many other women would be.

Fantasy Suite:

Jillian and Reid have some awkward dinner conversations, as they play cat and mouse. I’m sure you can guess who is who in this scenario. Jillian looks exhausted by this game and decides to change the topic by handing Reid the Fantasy Suite. He tells her he’s scared, because he doesn’t want to get denied, like he did on the last episode. He tells the camera that he needs time to tell her he loves her. Jillian lures him into taking the invitation, and makes him promise her they have to book a serious meeting in the room: we knew there must have been an ulterior motive there!

Reid finally tries to open up, only once he’s given permission to enter the fantasy suite; he tells Jillian that he’s indecisive, i’m sure Jillian, and all the viewers by now have figured that one out. Reid stumbles over and over on his words, and basically gives up, sighing many times at his understanding that his communication skills are only slightly better than that of a cave man. Jillian takes a swig of wine to drown her worries; she seems to be accepting that this indecisive man is always going to be just that.

They talk on the couch, which makes me think, if I was in that situation, i’d be making a b-line for that awesome looking bubble bath, filled with rose petals and candles!  They try to talk, but once again, Reid babbles and basically loops around the questions, and successfully distracts Jillian with more kisses.

They continue their love fest in the amazing bubble bath, finally! The camera films them awkwardly giving each other back rubs in the bubble-filled bathtub. Reid admits to us that he knows he may not make it to the end because he can’t open up. It seems like he’s not too worried to fix that problem, and instead, he simply sits back while Jillian continues their soapy massage.

Ed and Jillian’s date:

Ed tells the camera that as soon as he saw Jillian, he wanted to attack her; an interesting response to seeing Jillian, but Ed does seem to hide some quirks under that quiet demeanour. It seems like the Hawaiian sun has made everyone a little randy! Jillian tells us she trusts and adores him, but although they have a good emotional connection, like most women wanting something more from their men, she wants him also to improve on their communication.

The two improve on their communication by making out for quite awhile.  Jillian finally musters up the courage to stop the make out session by giving Ed 20 questions. She asks him what his family is like, what they do for fun. It could be because of editing, but Ed stays quiet until he finally tells her that his family call him Ritchie,  interesting…  Jillian laughs at that answer and seems to be more attracted to Ed/Ritchie. The two then go for a catamaran ride, and dive off into the ocean and have fun entangling themselves into one another and making out on basically every rock. I’m hoping someone is watching out for sharks for them!

They swim far away from the boat, which makes me nervous and think they don’t have an insane fear of sharks as much as I do; I would make sure I would be tied up to that boat, and have the entire crew in the ocean with goggles on to be on the look out!

Ed, slowly, very slowly tells Jillian that he’s flown his parents in so she can meet them, since they’re both huge family people. Jillian screams and jumps all over Ed.

Side note: must say Ed’s look pretty fine with this tan he’s gained.

Ed’s parent’s conversation:

Jillian confidently meets Ed’s parents; she and his mom have a good, open conversation. Meanwhile, the dad asks Ed bluntly what the hell he’s doing here in Hawaii, and back on this show! Ed handles it well by gulping down his wine. He tells his pop that he was able to salvage his job.  Ed admits to his dad that he would get engaged to our Canadian girl if she chose him; his dad’s face finally lightens up.

Jillian and Ed’s dad begin their conversation outside; Ed’s dad dad begins to cry, a very distract reaction from just a second before! Jillian obviously looks taken aback, while Ed’s dad tells her that he’s never seen Ed put his heart on his shirt, we’re sure he meant sleeve…but either way, Jillian gets the message, and Ed’s parent’s seem to be incredibly surprised that their son is so happy.

Ed and Jillian walk to the beach to talk; we noticed that Ed’s green 70′s shorts are much shorter than Jillian’s skirt. Here’s hoping he did this as a joke, or else Jillian will have to shop for him from now on.

Fantasy Suite:

Ed is given the invitation yet again, this time he doesn’t push her to accept the romantic proposal. She says they should take it. Ed looks mighty relieved.

He’s blown away by the fantasy suite; meanwhile Jillian is blown away by Ed, she is so attracted to him and basically just wants to attack him right there. Talk about chemistry!

Jillian confesses to Ed that she doesn’t want to take a back seat to his life; Ed calmly, very calmly soothes Jillian’s fears and tells her that he thinks she would add the balance to his life that he’s been seeking for so many years.

The two hug each other all over the suite, and then sensually make out on the bed. Does any one else feels we’re intruding here? Jillian changes into a little zip up, which, we must stress, is very see-through and show a lot more than her exposed skin.

The two give each other one amazing looking massage with tons of oil, and then the big moment: the lights go off. And then on…never a good sign. The couple massages each other again, and looks pleasent,  until we see the couple looking awkward and upset on the bed. Jillian says there’s love between them, but feels it in the sense that they will always be there for one another; but as for the the hot, steamy scenes that they both wanted and expected? She says it just weren’t there.  Ed! What happened?!

Jillian’s and Chris’ conversation:

Jillian tells Chris that Kiptyn is amazing, but he’s always been the dumper in relationships, and that scares her more than anything.

Jillian says that Reid makes her laugh constantly.  Chris points out that Reid hasn’t answered a lot of her direct questions. She looks a bit bummed at first, but lightens up as she tells Chris that she is infatuated with Reid.

Chris asks about Ed and her horrible fantasy suite night. She looks ashamed, and admits that there was so much pressure the two placed on each other that it must have affected Ed. Chris doesn’t seem to buy it. He should have recommended Viagra to Ed before the big night.

The video message from each bachelor to Jillian:

Kiptyn: Kiptyn tells Jillian that he had an amazing night with her, and he’s ready to be with her. Jillian looks like she’s blushing; now why didn’t they film that fatasy suite night?

Reid: Reid tells Jillan that the night of the fantasy suite was the best night of his life.  Jillian looks excited and impressed by herself. We viewers are left in the dark!

Ed: Ed tells Jillian that since meeting her, she’s changed his life. He said the bumps in the road can be worked on…poor Ed, Viagara can help. He openly tells her he loves her, now there’s communication for you Jillian! She looks like she wants to pass out.

Jillian tells us that she’s not at all ready to make the big descion.

The Rose Ceremony:

Jillian tells the 3 guys that she’s confused and not sure what to do, but she knows she’s falling in love. Well, that’s hopeful. She looks extremely confused for several seconds, until she asks Ed to talk to her aside. Ed looks guilty. Jillian tries to reassure him that she likes him, but has to bring up the fantasy suite problem. Ed confesses that he’s attached to her, but there are many things, external things, that are affecting him. He tells her subtly that she doesn’t have to worry anymore about this ‘issue’.  She looks even more confused as they walk back to the other guys and gives several big, worried exhales before she begins:

First rose: Kiptyn

Second rose: Ed! (Hoorah! She believes in you, Ed or at least in Viagra!)

Farewell to: Reid?

The Aftermath: Reid and Jillian walk away, and look like they’re both going to break into a billion little pieces any second. She confesses to him that she worries they’re at different places in their life. The two bow their heads together, as they sit on a bench and tear up, as they say their last farewells.

Reid, once again, doesn’t know what to say…

Reid’s riding solo:

In the limo, Reid tries to keep it together. Meanwhile, Jillian breaks down, and looks like she’ll need a nap in order to keep herself together. Reid says that he wishes he would have opened up to her; of course you should have, she tried over and over to break your hard, stubborn shell!

Cute Ed comes to find Jillan breaking down on the bench; he tells her he appreciates the choice she made and helps her snuggle into him.

Next episode:

The trio head to the BIG island of Hawaii!

The reunion show next week: lots of catty gossip!

And…of course, Molly and Jason come back to give us their update.

And, we can’t forget Wes.

Let’s go over who is left: the cute Kiptyn; the shy Ed; the “flimsy” Reid, as Jake so nicely put it; and of course, of course…the slimy Wes.

Kiptyn and Jillian’s date in Madrid:

Kiptyn and Jillian roam around Madrid, very comfortably and talk about the ‘old days’ aka when Jillian met Kip’s family.

Kiptyn talks openly about how they get along really well, but admits it’s hard to think about a proposal. Not too sure if he’s ready for that big of a leap. We can understand where he’s coming from…engaged after 6 weeks! What happens when you’re back in reality?

Kiptyn can sense Jillian feels differently; they talk about what she wants, she does want to get engaged after this show. Give him a break J, he came onto this messed up, but oh, so addictive reality show!

Will their differences keep them from being together?

They happen to bump into a flamenco studio, which we was planned, so the girls could see Kip in tight pants. There they see a couple doing a spicy Flamenco dance. Jillian is all for this dance, and looks like she’s in her zone, while Kip looks like he wants to stop filming this scene, so his friends back home won’t replay this every time they get together. They part to get dressed in full Flamenco gear.

Poor, poor Kiptyn, with those tight pants.  They do a very awkward flamenco-like dance; Jillian looks a bit serious, but Kiptyn seems to be having fun at making fun of himself and knowing that he has no idea what he’s doing. The two get cuddly after doing their gig and become all goofy and cute with each other.

The two then take a breather, get changed and meet again. While waiting for her man, Jillian tells the camera that she’s thought of what Kip has said about getting engaged at the end of this series; maybe some common sense is coming to her…she admits that doesn’t want to get engaged, if it’s too soon.

Kiptyn takes Jillian for an almost romantic moped ride…until he bumps into a small pole.

Dinner date:

At dinner, they talk about their wants for their future. Kiptyn admits that he was worried about his kids, aka his babies down under, from wearing those tight, suction cup pants. Jillian’s ears perk up…kids?? Their convo is interrupted, sadly, by some slurpy slugs and snails for a tasty treat.

Jillian gives Kiptyn a compliment, that he reminds her of his dad. Kiptyn looks like he’s not sure if he should be pleased or frightened. It is a compliment, Kip. It’s true that we women often are attracted to someone who has the characteristics we love of our dads. Jillian explains her dad is someone who everyone loves; she feels the same about Kiptyn, but is worried he will be like her father, who lets his wife wear the pants.

The big moment: The BIG invitation arrives: the Fantasy Suite.

Do they spend the night together? Jillian rejects the room, which is very mature, but my god! The rooms are always so amazing, and their room is just as great as the other Fantasy Suite rooms in past series; I’m sure it’s going to lure them to give up all discipline, and just go for it. I mean, look at the comfy, lush bed, and those two do love to make out. They get into their favourite position: all entangled and intertwined, and cuddle nonstop.  She admits to the camera, she wishes she accepted the overnight card right about now. Kiptyn admits to the camera that he does want get to know her more, in different ways …and go to the next step.  We can be sure he’s going home pretty frustrated!

Reid and Jillian’s date in Sevilla:

Jiillian says she gets super giddy around Reid, and does she ever, she giggles and screams here and there, and then jumps on Reid. The two of them use sign language, or really, just caveman-like gestures to order some food for their picnic; Reid throws in there some Spanish words, most of which seems to derive from Starbucks coffee terms.

Jillian has two things on her mind: eat and make out.

The two are more than fine with millions of PDA’s than she is with Kiptyn. Looking back at it, it seems that Jillian and Kiptyn are much more reserved and adult-like together, whereas she and Reid seem completely comfortable with being themselves around each other; their honest giddiness is refreshing to see.

They talk forever about how they had fun at Reid’s home date;  Reid explains about how it takes a long time for him to open up and trust someone. He tells her they’re very similar…could this be good or bad?…then they start making out. Maybe not so bad… for right now.

Dinner date:

Reid is not sure if he’s in love yet, but he thinks he’s close to it. They meet later on that night dressed up; Jillian puts him in a corner, and eggs him on to tell her how he thinks of her, and about their budding relationship. Not very romantic, but it looks like she really wants to hear some compliments right about now.

On his own time, during the dinner, Reid says he moves very slow during relationships, but obviously much more slow in this show. He tells her his honest fears, that some of the others guys will say a compliment that she’ll eat up, and he’ll be thrown off. He lists numerous things he likes a lot about her, she loves hearing that and has a smile from ear to ear.

The big moment: The Fantasy Suite

Oddly enough, Jillian looks more into sharing a room with Reid, than with the broken-hearted Kiptyn.

They share a steamy kiss, and Jillian says that she’s torn: take the key, or toss it?

She tells Reid the same thing she told Kip. He does the same as Kip, and tries to look like he completely agrees with her. He tells the camera he obviously wants to be with her in the room, but thinks she made a smart move.

Guy’s perspective: The guys here think that Jillian talks like she just emerged from a Dawson Creek episode. So much babble and irrelevant words taking away her meaning. The guys think Reid will be the best for her.

Ed and Jillian’s date in Sevilla:

Uh oh, is Ed in the dog house?

She’s been hurt by him once, will she forgive him this time and give him another chance…and to make up for lost time, will she accept the invitation to the, (gasp!)….Fantasy Suite?

The two go on a romantic-ish carriage ride. Ed confesses a million times how much he regrets how he went back home for his job, and the lost time they have to make up for. We’re guessing here that Ed’s boss saw the episode where he was breaking into a million pieces, and let him go back, for love…or maybe he just quit?

Jillian asks many questions about Ed’s parents, his family, what they’re like, will they like her? She desperately tries to get to know Ed more, seeing as how they easily slip back into a flirty relationship, where it’s easy to see they are attracted to one another. He gives her a few vague answers. She does perk up a lot when he says if she was at his families’ house, they’d go do some Karaoke. What? Can I come too?? She loves that answer, music to her ears! (haha) She then says to the camera that she just wants to make out. Wow…never thought she’d say that one.

They two lovebirds still have huge chemistry; and to show off that chemistry and lust for one another, they go in public places to show all the Spaniards how American/Canadian people are totally cool with PDA’s. It looks really odd as they jump into a fountain (at the producer’s request?), getting all wet, and of course Jillian’s wearing a white shirt, and of course lots of people are glued to their live, mobile entertainment.

Dinner date:

Ed knows that he broke Jillian’s fragile heart, and that he has to make it up to her big time.

Ed opens up quite more: he asks her if she’s open to moving somewhere else, ie. his town. What’s wrong with BC now, Ed? Ed tries to convince Jillian that if she moved to Chicago, it would be a dream come true.

The big moment:

Hearts are pumpingn wildly, we can tell as Ed gulps down his glass of wine.

BUT…let’s just remember last week’s preview of this episode: Jillian does share the Fantasy Suite, and with someone who can’t, um, perform. Could it be our dear Ed?

When the invitation comes, Ed tells her he’d like to spend the night with her, with excitement, or so we think, but then again, it’s hard to tell excitment from Ed’s monotone voice. Once again, Dawson Creek vocabulary appears, and the truth comes out: she’s not ready for it. And Ed? He looks mighty pissed.

Ed tries to push her to accept the invitation; he’s bothered they missed out on so much lost time, and obviously wants to get to know our Canadian gal.  Jillian asks Ed to hang out with her for a little while, meaning cuddling. Ed looks like a nervous teen  as he gets onto the bed to get comfy; they decide to spend the night together, but to sleep in their clothes. And will they still be on in the morning? That is the question…

Guy’s perspective: The guys like Ed the most: really genuine and honest guy…but think they don’t look good together. (hoping Jillian doesn’t agree, as I’m sure Ed will crumble if Jillian lets him go)

Wes and Jillian’s date in Barcelona:

Slimy Wes and Jillian go for a bike ride on needlessly enormous bikes! Jillian nearly stumbles when getting off her bike when they stop for their picnic.

Jillian picks up right away that Wes is pulling away, during their supposedly romantic picnic, whereas, in fact, it is very awkward. She says she feels friendship, but not romance. She tells the camera that when they’re talking, Wes is as far away from her as he can be.

They have their picnic, you should notice by now that Jillian loves olives. They do look rather good…

Jillian gives Wes potential situations: would Wes move to BC to be with her, would he open to moving closer to her, and just then he spills his beer all around his pants. This date is just one thing, and one thing only: AWKWARD!

Guy’s perspective: Wes’ mind is somewhere else;  he doesn’t seem excited at all to be around her. Thus, it only proves furthermore that he does in fact have Laurel waiting back at home for her red-neck boy.

Dinner date:

Wes does show his polite manners, and pulls the chair out for her, she gives him a few points for that. But those points are quickly stomped upon.

Wes decides to clear this awkward air around them. They bring up the “ex”. Jillian brings up the obvious facts: he’s on the show for fame.

Jillian points out that she is upset that he hasn’t been affectionate the entire day; if they’ve been through so much, and are much stronger for that, Jillian thinks they should be much more connected by now…but they aren’t.

Jillian, of course, starts tearing up. And to make it worse, the slip up takes place:  Wes says he talked to Jake about his girlfriend, I  mean…ex-girlfriend.  Jillian looks like she wants to break on a plate on his head?

And to make it worse? The waiter comes with the Fantasy Suite card. Wes, obviously, wants to stay with her. Jillian looks completely defeated, and says that she has gotten a lot of questions answered, and luckily forgoes the fantasy suite.

Thank the lord! Has she  finally come to her senses?

The Rose Ceremony:

Jillian comes out in a short black strapless, fluffy number. Wes looks super relaxed, and tells the guys he’s going to have loads of sex when he goes home…he can dream, can’t he? Kiptyn looks like he wants to spit on Wes’ shoe.

Jillian makes an announcement to all that she feels beautiful and loved around them, obviously a little bash to our lovely Wes.

First rose: Ed (wowza!) Ed, by the way, looks thrilled. Maybe now she’ll accept the Fantasy Suite next time?

Second rose: Reid

Side note: Has anyone noticed that Chris couldn’t make it for this episode? We sadly miss his obvious announcements that she is holding the last rose.

LAST ROSE: Kiptyn

And the red-neck goes back on home!  Luckily, Jillian has come to her senses! Jake will be jumping all over his couches at home like a kid on a sugar high!

The truth comes out: Wes admits, so slyly, that he’s the first guy on The Bachelor history that’s made it to the top four, that has a girlfriend. He smiles at the camera, and drunkenly talks about how famous he’ll be, as he, of course, starts pouring himself drink after drink.  Good job buddy!

Next episode:

- The three men and Jillian are off to Hawaii!

- So yes, the Fantasy Suite’s reappear everybody. And someone encounters failure to launch in the bedroom…but who?

- And Ed…does he actually say next week that he didn’t want to, but had to hurt Jillian? It sounds like his voice, but we never know what curve balls this show will throw at us.

- There are a couple scenes, of course, with Jillian tearing up, of course, and looking devastated.

Can’t wait to join you for yet another episode of pure drama!